We usually look outside ourselves for heroes and teachers. It has not occurred to most people that they may already be the role model they seek. The wholeness they are looking for may be trapped within themselves by beliefs, attitudes, and self-doubt. But our wholeness exists in us now. Trapped though it may be, it can be called upon for guidance, direction, and most fundamentally, comfort. It can be remembered. Eventually we may come to live by it

Accepting the labels other people try to tag us with is one of the most
destructive things we can do to ourselves. Because once we accept
those labels, we allow them to define us--what we can do, what
we should want, what we can and can't have. We start considering
what others think is right for us instead of using our own instincts
and self-knowledge to make our own best choices.
Over the years I have learned that we can't live genuinely until
we learn to disregard the labels and judgments of others. As some
wise person once said, "You aren't what people call you, you are what
you answer to." The better we become at ignoring whatever people
call us, the closer we get to fulfilling our dreams, the easier it
becomes to create the life we really want,
not the life someone else thinks we should have.

:)