Finally I think he gets it..

Upon having a good look through (your blog upsi)..I just told my DH how I've got another friend who's mum is also the same. As well as lurker "fragg" ~♥ (wherever you are too)..there's 3 of us who grew up with the same type of Mother.

I explained to him in as less words as possible (in 'man' language) of how it's not just a simple thing to walk away from our Mums. In one sense we're running~ the horse has bolted but in another sense it's the 'little ♥' that lives inside the grown up '♥' who still wants & is looking for her mummy but she knows she's never going to find her & it's a really sad place to be & is at times extremely upsetting.

I said to him this is why I at times do get upset with him, when I feel he doesn't understand or begin to try to & this confuses me because usually he goes above & beyond .. But how he can so easily just buff things off & expects me to also.. I understand from his point of view because he does see things firsthand & is just looking out for my best interests but what he doesn't get & doesn't even think to get, is that this is something that takes time to deal with & then I put our 5 year old daughter as an example & he saw it in a different light.


"Imagine if I was my mum & was her Mum, she'd be in a sense lost & looking for her Mum & it wouldn't be that simple or easy for her. She'd be let down, confused, hurt..there's a whole lot of emotions going on in there & they come at different times of her life whether she asks for them or not"..he thought about this and I think he actually got it this time.


Don't get me wrong, he's for the most, Mr awesome but I sometimes do forget he is a man and doesn't feel these things like a woman does. And that's ok. It's just remembering we are wired differently ...we want to share to get things out & they want to fix things. He is learning that he can't fix I don't want him to fix, listening & allowing me to cry is the fix that I need & it's more than enough.

It feels at times that I have 2 roles. The first one is who I am, me, myself....his wife, our kids Mum & you know, our life is pretty good. I'm content with what I have, I love where I am at, I am exactly where I imagined myself to be & I'd not change a thing~ & then there is the little 'me'.. that little girl who's been locked inside & sometimes she is peeking out and trying to understand what life was before she got to grow up & live her own happily ever after.

She's the one who gets upset infact she's the one who stirs up the intense emotions & they spill out randomly.. & then it's me the grown up who is trying her best to help her. I see it as my responsibility to her to allow 'us' both to heal & to further grow.. I think she knows it but it's sometimes really hard . But whatever I do, I have to do it well because that's kinda how I roll. I have to do this properly & not leave anything undone & you know I also have to be kind, it's going to take some time & that is actually ok. It's a journey & I can't put a time on it, it just is what it is. And if my husband can understand even a little bit of this too it will make it a lot easier for him & for me.

One little step at a time♥