Keeping positive & an open mind

On the whole I am feeling pretty positive it's how I normally roll & it's kinda just who I am.

A friend once asked me "How do you do it? " but the answer to me is fairly simple ~ it's an 'everyday' choice that you make, to wake up and to take the time to smell the roses.. to see the sun shining and even if there is nothing but grey skies & lots of rain to notice how pretty the sky still looks, how the yard looks greener, how the rain splashes against the windows... & to happily begin the day~ even though there is {each morning} a fresh cat poo, waiting just for me, on the floor beside the litter box in the laundry... & then occasionally in the middle of cleaning that up, the phone might ring & it's sometimes my Mum & then that wash of 'panic' of answering it & never knowing whether I am going to get the 'nice' mum or another version of...& then it's back to normal stuff that goes on in our own home which quickly ( & thankfully) brings me back to earth.

When things go wrong they can be all consuming but I've worked out a long time ago if the thing happening isn't something that can kill me then in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn't matter ..& it helps me to let it go. But not always it does depend!!!
Certain people, they can move me from my axis just like that & it's then that I have to decide what i am going to do next.

I've got about 4 Mum incidents that I could relay but I really don't feel like it. I think I've dealt with and processed these things within my mind now & to go back not only takes more time away that I could be doing spent on things i enjoy and also because it's just mentally tiring. I'm also learning to 'step away' even when shes on the phone I'm listening but I'm not really there. The other night she rang up and I was on facebook & instead of engaging myself with her drunkard (which I the next day realized!!) drivel I instead focused on the hum of the rangehood whirring away & thought about how far I've come and am able to more often than not now switch off.


Which is really kinda cool.

She's just a broken record playing the same song over & over just sometimes a remix of the versions she has given me before..I've come to fully realize shes broken me so many times over & just keeps on spinning but shes skipping & listening to that shit now just gives me the pips.

My life even with what 'has been', is embedded within my mind, the love I've seen & then lost..& then with it's daily cat poop on the laundry floor~ it's pretty freaking good you know ~ I've been overhearing other people's problems & their worries & I've thought to myself .. "I'm glad I have my own things I don't think I'd want to swap with yours"..probably being so used to my own they seem easier, when I know for a fact they are not.

I've also come to realize that my everyday now life is as it should be & these things worrying me are from yesterday & the stuff I've been overhearing are from these peoples 'now' lives..food for thought...

My life *before life* I'd never swap it for the world, not even for all the chocolate in the world because what I've seen & lived & learned has made me who I am & now I am where I am supposed to be ☼♥


ps. I may be back at any time to have a whinge about Mum & her latests that is a given but I've also realized that is ok..that is life:)..just don't dwell for too long, air my grievances & move the heck on. I am now the proud owner of an "off/on" switch that gets used a lot more these days =)