Tuesday, April 5, 2011
???
The bruises they will fade away you hit so hard with the things you say
You're not in in love with someone else you don't even love yourself♪
But what is truth when something dies he's not in love with her anymore.
He takes a drink she goes inside he starts to scream the vases fly
He wishes that she wouldn't cry
He's not in love with her anymore
He makes demands she draws the line He starts the fight she starts the lie
But what is truth when something dies
He's not in love with her anymore♪
I guess I should be mad at NBM's Father too?? Is this what happened????? You fractured your family?? I know you were both alcoholics so is NBM ..I know you used other women & sex to satisfy your own selfish needs , I know your pregnant wife used to sing in country bars while you were out having sex with young girls in the back of the car in the parking lot ....or so I have been told.. which baby was she pregnant with??? I don't even have any photos of you..I could have met you 5 years or so ago & not long after you passed away and I know you changed your ways you later turned your life around but what is all of this????...... YOU turned your life around but did you help your children who were then orphaned and were raised by someone else???
Why am I questioning all of this? Why do I have to bother? How come you adults couldn't get your acts together...how come this affected 2 generations in so many ways??? I realize too this is moot asking a dead man these questions & I even feel a little guilty doing so.
You know it's bed time & I have an appointment in 8 hours time with a psychologist. Domino effect.....
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5 comments:
You said it right. It is a domino effect with one difference. I can change my direction. From what I have read you are changing your direction. I talked about my parents for almost 2 years to my counselor. I think I asked a million unanswered questions. I am starting to feel peace. I hope you do too.
It sure is a domino effect & usually we over look situations because they were 'done with some sense of ease' before us & we just continue it on..usually too we don't know how to change it or we see things the way that those before us saw things & think that it is all ok but sometimes it's really not. It's amazing you have said this about changing my direction because this mornings session was about exactly that..Wow 2 years, that makes me feel a bit better I have wasted almost 1 talking about mine and trying to understand & so on..it's been a journey as you can understand. I'm happy you are starting to feel peace you deserve that Ruth♥ I think I will too I feel like I'm headed on the right direction & it feels natural & good
I think also too just being able to let go all the unanswered questions that are in your mind is really powerful & healing :)♥
I like that thought. Asking unanswered question perhaps for me part of the peace is finally asking.
yes maybe it is:)
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