Daughters of narcissistic mothers have a great challenge in their lives. Many of them don't realize that their mothers are narcissistic until they are adults themselves. Many daughters knew right away that mother was cold and distant, not huggable, didn't pay real attention to them, was preoccupied with her own life and that was all that mattered, was too psychologically fused with her husband to make room for her and the other children. These daughters go through a tremendous ordeal recognizing and then struggling to redefine themselves as individuals who are authentic and separate. I have communicated with many daughters who have prevailed and have re-found their true selves. This is a great victory.
Adult daughters of narcissistic mothers can go through a process of healing, a time of individuating from the narcissistic mother. There is a psychological blooming that takes place. One of the first steps is acknowledging that you deserve to be treated with respect and empathy. Another is self care. Which for me is now acceptance. Part of my self care is to be able to move on
2 comments:
"Many daughters knew right away that mother was cold and distant, not huggable, didn't pay real attention to them, was preoccupied with her own life and that was all that mattered, was too psychologically fused with her husband to make room for her and the other children."
This is the BEST description of the Dragon I have ever read. Thank you for putting it in to words for me... I've always been at a loss before.
My NM add a weird twist. She heard that you needed to tell your children daily that you love them to be a "good mother." She would do just that, as if she were checking off something on her to do list. As a teenager, I felt really at odds with myself when she said the words but I felt guilty for thinking her insincere. Who calls their mother a liar when they say, 'I love you?'
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