I'd be the sort of person who could end things. But I did I felt it & saw it. I was driving to one of my appointments & out from nowhere came this thought of " Why don't you just let the car wander over there & hit into those trees go on do it..it will all end no more fear or pain, you won't have to worry about people dying you won't have to worry about a single thing. There is nothing to stop you you know".
EFF OFF. I kept driving & ignored 'it'. And then I confessed it to my psychologist. I have no idea looking back now if I did tell her that day or if it was thereafter but she asked me something & then said to just observe that thought next time I feel it, if I was to feel it again.
The thing is I am not that sort of person at all, never have been never will be. I owe myself to my family & could & would never but what I do understand now is that I just wanted the pain & all the hurt to stop I didn't want to die.
Please if anybody out there ever has these feelings or thoughts tell someone don't let yourself slide until it is too late. This is so important & is not an answer it's NEVER an option.
LIFE is beautiful it is good, there is nothing you can't overcome with the right help & support. Big loves♥
1 comment:
My mantra is "If I give in to those thoughts, the abuser wins. I can't let him win." I learned something else that sometimes when my thoughts go there, I need to pick up my marbles and go home. I am not playing. I think you are one awesome lady.
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