Almost 12 months ago (after another 'mum' episode) I began reading a really good book called 'Emotional Blackmail' by Susan Forward. It's an excellent book that really goes into depth and is actually helpful/useful with lots of scenarios which you can relate to. Suffice to say I have done my homework and have just removed it from the back of our bathroom door after having had it up for me to read on a daily basis.
'The change' in me has now began and I could not be happier! Still there are other issues to come and work for me to go through on but this for me is a pretty big achievement & one for which I am happy with.
*I tell myself that giving in is no big deal. (Giving in is a big deal)
*I tell myself that giving in is worth it if the other person shuts up. (It's only a band-aid)
*I tell myself it's not worth the battle. (It is if I believe in it)
*I tell myself it's better to give in that to hurt their feelings. (What about my feelings?)
*I don't stand up for myself. You should always stand up for yourself. (Nobody else will)
*I give away my power. (I am confident with my inner self)
*I do things to please others. (I do things to please myself as well)
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**Contract with Myself**
I, ♥..recognize myself as an adult with options & choices & I commit myself to the process of actively getting Emotional Blackmail out of my relationships & out of my life in order to reach that goal, & make the following promises:
* I promise myself that I am no longer willing to let fear, obligation & guilt control my decisions
*I promise myself that I will learn the strategies in this book & that I will put them into practice in my life
*I promise myself that if i regress, fail or fall into old patterns, I will not use slips as an excuse or stop trying. I recognize that failure is not failure if you use it as a way to learn
*I promise to take good care of myself during this process
*I promise that i will acknowledge myself for taking positive steps, no matter how small they are.
(signed 'me') xo
1.10.2009
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