An extract I found which was very similar to myself.. edited to fit my own situations.

Remember this is partly not mine. I am only relating!!!!....Please read along..

When I was a teenager, she was very inappropriate socially– flirting by batting her eye lashes, making her eyes really big, wearing tight jeans & high heels while strutting , and laughing this loud, haughty laugh. She also would engage in inappropriate conversation with my friends regarding sex. She would talk to me about sex (in a friend to friend way, not mother to daughter way).
By the time I was a young adult, I found myself making excuses for her to company- or I would be so embarrassed that I would leave the room. One time we were out with a large group of people She started talking about when my period started and its complications. I could tell how appalled some of the people were– and I wanted SO MUCH to crawl up underneath that table.

BACK again. It is scary how many people out there all seem to do similar things..but why is it my mum??


Throughout my life she has had groups of friends and then dumped them, replacing them with entire new group of friends. At this point in her life, she doesn’t have any long term friends to speak of. The friends that are dumped probably wonder what the hell happened. My NM also seems to weasel her way back into the estranged friend’s life at serious times. She relishes drama and being on a crusade.
When she’s in a social setting, she feels as if she has to fill in the gaps and entertain, so many times she rambles about things that are inappropriate, laughs an obvious fake laugh, and thinks that she’s making people feel comfortable. In reality, she is making people uncomfortable with the constant chatter and the questionable topics. Sometimes she’ll divulge private information about family members — even when they’re right there. Many times I remember feeling my blood pressure rise when hearing her speak about my private life or private issues. If you say anything to her she turns the table on you and says that you are being ridiculous and shouldn’t be so sensitive.
My NM definitely doesn’t have a filter for what she says, but she also doesn’t have a filter for how she reacts. She flies off the handle, changing from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde instantly when she feels threatened, if you don’t agree with her, or if the topic is my Dad. And the fall out from the Mr. Hyde can last for months– with her viewpoint of what happened morphing further and further from reality. During these episodes, she’ll tell stories that become more and more deranged. She’ll try to get as many people on her side as possible, telling all sorts of lies, exaggerations, and misleading statements.

My NM lives and breathes the situation to the point that she believes her own lies. I think the only way she can live with herself after the dust settles is for her to believe her own lies. Her husband is so intimidated by her that he doesn’t help to keep her head in reality. He won’t contradict her as he doesn’t want to feel her wrath, so he goes along with her rants and twisted accounts. His complacency and seeming agreement with her only reinforces her belief that she is right– that her bizarre reality is correct.
She hasn’t connected the dots that she has cut off all family members , and that she is alone by her own doing. She hasn’t connected the dots that she has been married three times, one marriage failing because she cheated on her husband. She hasn’t connected the dots that she is taking massive amounts of anti-depressants for depression but has manic spells characterized by unlimited spending and eating, as well as bouts of not living in reality– and that she has stated that her son is schizophrenic but doesn’t recognize anything untoward in herself. Our brother is not, he is just very emotionally damaged. He was 4 years old when this started.
Basically, she is not in tune with her own emotions due to a low EI.

•