it gets really frustrating when people tell me I should be there for my sister when the truth is I've most often always been there for her & they'd not know that because not everybody knows everything all of the time nor were they there to see it.


Also, I'm not sure why it'd be different if it were me who left my hubby and kids for a guy on the internet is any different than her. Apparently for me it'd be very out of character but for her, she's 'looking' for something.

But the thing is this, the thing she is 'looking for', she had. Didn't she?

I think it's just a big case of the grass is greener.

More like the grass is greener because it is fertilized with bullshit.

Nothing is greener.

Making better choices and thinking before acting might be this 'greener' that they speak of. I think?

I don't know because again, it's not me thinking it.


So just put the fact that she has cancer aside for a moment & yes it kinda feels yet again that she gets away 'scott free' that bad decision making is almost excused for her and I just have to be there for her & support her....and shes still being nasty when she sees fit..

Which is a heck of a lot more than what they've ever done. And a fat lot of good that has done . It's never enough. but now enough is enough, and it's bad timing I know. I never planned it to be this way.

Nobody planned for her to have Cancer either (I do realize that).



She's made her bed & is now lying in it & it's up to her to 'get up' just as others before her have done. She is not the first and will certainly not be the last

I'm here if & when she needs me & to be quite frank I don't think she wants anything to do with me anyhow. Which is ok.

I say to those who like to judge me for my decision is to 'walk a mile' & then honestly tell me how it feels & what they themselves would do.

Becomes a lot harder then doesn't it.


Mmm funny that.