being a bit slack & putting a blog post off..No really, my family and I have been sick with the dreaded cold but now seem to be on the mend & feeling MUCH better now. So I never came back to this post although at times I did think about it but didn't want to go into that mental mind space while my body felt so crappy and out of sorts. And why add to my own suffering with added emotional angst? No thanks. I am posting now though & don't even feel bothered I am switched off to it, maybe it's because I am not in an emotional place right now or maybe it's the fact that throughout the week I reached another milestone within myself & am feeling more & more as time goes on, ready to cut my mother out of my life completely. The only thing that stops me now are nieces and my nephew..it will be at birthdays and so on that she will be there & I don't want that uncomfortable feeling nor do I want her to use those opportunities as attacking platforms. If anybody has successfully done this, please fill me in!!
So it's 1976 & it's my first birthday. My mum makes me the cutest hedgehog cake for my first birthday. I've seen pictures of it, old slides & the picture (if you didn't know her now) looks like the happy family photo that I wish that I had. Dad, Mum & me~ just a happy family & their baby turning 1.
So when our first baby was turning 1 in 1996, it was my Mother who said "Why don't you make him a hedgehog cake like I made for you?" ~ she then offered to make it & I was rather excited that my baby boy was going to have the same cute birthday cake that I had for my first birthday & even nicer was that my mum was going to make this for him. I went & bought all the stuff, the almonds to make the quills it was all there ready for her to make it. And then she didn't do it.
She was "too busy", too preoccupied with her own life & self and her new boyfriends (who was to be husband #3)'s mum. She clearly came before me in many occasions but this time it really hurt. She told me last minute it may have even been that day & disappointment was an understatement. He ended up having this little white cake with blue icing piped around top, it was simple but sweet for a first birthday cake. Mum picked that up on her way to the party from Coles. Why did she do this? I know why and when I saw the same cake last week it felt like someone had ripped my heart out all over again. So simple but so heavy. I've never asked for her help ever again.
1 comment:
I know my kids get really upset with me when I forget to do something I promised to do. I am more careful about making promises to make sure I will be able to complete what I said. I think this is true with anyone that if they say they are going to do something and then don't do it you feel hurt. Then when that someone is your mom it is like a double whammy. The hedge hog is cute.
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