The thing that hurts the most is that deep down I really love mum & it's when shes blatantly in my face & doesn't care, when she hurts with her yelling, her tone of voice & her words & tries to manipulate me I see it as if I've never seen it before & I get upset all over again. I probably won't ever work that part of it out. Strange I know.


I did have her once even if it was for a short while. We've still had happy times over the years but still, this blog would not be here if she was not the way she is. And I own some of this, sure I do but I didn't ask to be born yet alone emotionally abused by the one person who is meant to be anything but.