I can't see that this will be my second last visit tomorrow, what I have to do is wait until all of my 12 appointments have been completed and then I can try for more. Fingers crossed I can continue them this year and if worst comes, next January which is not that long away but longer than I think I can go for but whatever happens happens & either way I am looking forward to continuing on this 'journey'. I've really enjoyed it if that makes sense. It's been uplifting, scary at times & also an enormous relief to have it all 'out'.
Of me.
I feel somewhat different, more at peace with myself, calmer & in general I am a bit quieter & happy to watch the world go by & just observe it, for now.
Speaking of observing, tomorrow would have been my Dad & Mums 36th Wedding Anniversary.
I'm not at all upset about it I haven't been for a really long time, it's just a day now that I don't forget & probably will never forget but instead to think about to myself & wonder "what if".
BUT there is no benefit in staying in that moment for too long, I'd not be where I am today had all of these things good & bad not taken place. I'd change nothing, well almost nothing.
Who am I kidding? I'd have slept those 5 years away If I could.
PS. hey..your sister has cancer..yeah I know But I am trying hard to pretend she really hasn't that was just a bad dream.
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