'Things'..

I am harboring anger about.

Again, they won't all be in order as there is so much, I've not even scratched the surface & even know/doubt whether I will ever be able to there is that much. Nobody remembers their entire life.



*Says my Dad used to lay into us when he did not

*Says Dad raped her & that's how my sister came about & apparently it's also the reason my sister is so angry at the world. She was born angry. My sister supposedly always has been a bit of a difficult baby and wouldn't want to be held etc, but this is just wrong. (She's also told me later on that she planned all of us babies and that Dad was happy to have another baby whenever she wanted).

Which doesn't really support the 'rape' theory does it.
You've got to have a good memory if you're going to tell lies.



* The picture is this, it's all of us, Mum & Dad, us 3 young healthy kids, 2 little girls & a baby boy & our lives are pretty good. We'd not long lived in our new house which Mum & Dad had just built... Mum doesn't arrive home late from work one night (which was in a homestead in a kitchen) just a few blocks away from our house. Dad worked days and mum did some part time night work but always ended her shifts before midnight. Dad worries because shes not home. Us kids were all in our beds sleeping, no car at home so his only option was to ride his bike to her work to see what was going on see if she was ok, if the car had broken down. Instead my dad finds his wife with another man who worked with her.

*Dad had previously had warnings from an elderly neighbor who had noticed a few men around at our house dropping in whatever. So the seed had been planted.

*Next thing, we go to Mooloolaba for the day, I remember sitting on the beach playing in the sand thinking "this is pretty awesome I can't wait until we move here", Mum & Dad had been looking at a Real Estate office which was over the road. As a kid I thought it'd be ages, next thing my Uncle who worked in Real Estate was out the front of our house hammering in a 'For Sale' sign. We were moving away to start 'afresh' which of course us kids had no idea about and I know now that my Grandparents were devastated.

*We'd not long been here and Mum & Dad built a nice house streets back from the beach. Grandma & Grandpop came up to see us & stay, I remember Grandpop had to go back for work & Grandma stayed and would spoil us with Mr Whippy who was always down our street. Her heart was broken but she never let on. This was her only child, my Dad & we were now 3 hours drive away. Grandma & Grandpop only got the telephone connected once we had moved away because it was all our only contact,in between visits of course. I remember going over there every weekend & often on my own before any of this happened. We also lived with them when I was a newborn baby.
It was Grandma that I bonded with.

*Mum gets a job in a restaurant . It was owned by a German married couple in their 50's. I remember going there and sleeping under the table later when I got tired, but it was fine. Not now I don't think it is but then you just went along with anything. What I didn't know at the time was that my mum was flirting and doing the wrong thing with her boss '. He had 3 adult children.

*One afternoon not long later Mum sits us down after school & say "I need to talk to you 3". She told us that our Dad was moving or had moved out (I can't remember which) and that it was my job to help her to look after FOO now. I instantly 'grew up'. I felt like I'd just grown 1m higher & it was then that I changed from 'just a carefree 10 year old kid' to one with an adult mind. I don't remember if Dad said any special goodbyes that morning I don't think so. I can't even begin to imagine how must have felt saying goodbye to us at all. I was his little girl. This still hurts me a lot & even as I write this I've got tears, none of this was right & it didn't need to happen. Even as an adult now with an amazing husband & 3 beautiful kids I cry for 'those kids and that Dad' that had no chance because of someone making choices that never should have been. So many people were hurt from one persons selfish decisions.

*Says she left Dad to get with her current boss at the time because he was 'big & strong' and could protect us from Dad, who according to Mum,  had started laying into us. Not true. She cheated on Dad plain and simple. Passing the buck.

*I remember sitting up one night just being a 'silly kid' & crying because I missed my Dad & it was raining as well. Next thing a 'tall man' and a big dog walks past on the footpath & I started crying harder. That person came to our house it was that man. I heard them having sex in my parents room which was right beside the bedroom that my sister & I shared. I was pretty smart for my age and got up and pretended to have a toothache just so I could see who was in my parents room. I am pretty sure I was 10.
Apparently he wanted to let me in to hug me "the poor kid" but mum said no. Thank god i never did go in I think that would have made me sick to the stomach to have that picture actually in my mind. Blerk.

*She broke up that marriage between her boss & his wife, then he moves in. Mum and Dad sold the house. We saw Dad all the time and we'd go stay at his house. We had the best fun, it was the only good part of them not living together, you had those times to look forward to. He finally then moved back home to his parents house & it wasn't long after that he met my step-mum Co who has been the best step mum I could have asked for.


I don't have time to add anymore, dinner to cook bbl.


*Since then has had more affairs & they're all older men, as if she's looking for a father figure. Which she more than likely is. I know of a few, she tells us we don't know the half of them because she was trying to be a good mother and not let us meet them all and get attached. Hhmm....ok. Revolving doors.

*She also slept with another married man and we were lucky enough to see photographs of her and him 'tongue kissing', her dressed as a tart & not sure what he was. I never asked. I do know that is another thing I never needed to see. He must have gone back to his wife. He later on (after she had freshly broken up with her 2nd husband) introduced her to her last husband who just died, shes never been a widow before. Not really sure what to think on that still she was not long ago professing that her real true love was that one she originally kicked dad out for.


*Give it time she will have a new fella soon..



*Both Dad & Grandpop have asked when is she getting married again (haha). Bear in mind Mum walked up to my Grandpop at my Grandma's funeral and told him "You can always marry someone else".


*She says I push her away.

*My fault she doesn't know my kids, what she means is I won't allow her to manipulate me & just hand them over. Shes had them and each time something happened that shouldn't have. Shes not very responsible.

*She seems to have no boundaries and is a law to herself.


More.


*Show's no respect for my siblings or for myself.
(Talks about private things she thinks she knows about in front of strangers as well as friends or family).

*Starts nasty rumours & when I ask her about it shes all honey and denies it & goes on with her 'good mummy' spiel.

* She goes around saying I'm only friends with my extended family to get inheritances.


*Went around telling people my husband & I were going to break up. What, when was this?? News to the both of us.

*Humiliated me at my 25th Birthday by arriving then announcing that she had to come after had having been camping and here look shes brought the food, because apparently I was not capable (I guess!) of providing any. So shes a hero, saves the day then hits me up for $40. The truth was that she was in fact camping and she was saying she felt bad she couldn't do any cooking as she was away, I told her it was not a problem at all, in the end to appease her I said if she so wanted and even had the time to stop somewhere on her way home and grab a couple of things but there was no need whatsoever. We had arranged the food as you do when you host a party.