I want to talk more I want to say is that life does go on whether you want it to or not, and in saying that, I've chosen to go with it. You need to move forward & live while you have your own time on this earth. And I think that when you lose loves ones, that's what they'd want if you could ask them too.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's easy because it's not & it's a daily decision..and I'd say most days if not everyday at some point, I find myself stopping & my heart breaks all over again.
But to not live your own life & not allow yourself to go forward isn't honoring the memory of the person or persons that you lost, it's only making the loss of their life a legacy of loss, to your own life.. which doesn't seem right to me at all. There is a healthy balance & you need to find that, on your own and in your own time. 


So in saying all of that, while I can miss her everyday that I live I also want to live everyday that I have. One day when Its my time, hopefully when I'm an old old lady with Great-Grandkids around us,  she will be up there waiting &  wondering what took me so long to get there. What a sweet day that is going to be. But one that I am very happy to wait a long time for. And it brings me to my knees just imagining it.  Bittersweet but blessed at the same time. it's hard to describe it ♥