Round 2

Yesterday my sister started chemotherapy again which she will have now every 3 weeks, then the hospital will do a scan to see how the cancer is responding & then proceed with another round. She did tell me but it's all pretty confusing. So long as I know when she is having her treatment done & if i can do anything when the time comes is all I need to know right now. I did offer to go with her but she knows me pretty well & said if I go in there & cry then she will cry & she doesn't want that.

I am glad this lot of treatment has started because it means it will keep her here with us all for that bit longer. WHo knows she might be ok when this is all done, but not being able to have it and being mucked around by hospitals also allows it to grow bigger & spread. At least now it's all systems go.

Her partner is going to come up here on those days she has her chemo so he will go with her. I offered to pick them up from her place & take them back home at the end of the day~ so I hope she will take me up on the offer at times, even everytime. I said to her that maybe I can make her food to eat then & I said I want to do something so hopefully that is what I will do. Drop them off so they don't have to worry about public transporting and I can leave her food so she won't have to worry about cooking..even if it's for that night & then some things she can take home & put in the freezer. And fresh fruits etc. I'm not just going to sit around & do nothing. She is my sister.

You feel pretty helpless just watching all this go on & seeing people around the place go on about the small things makes me pretty annoyed but I realize that it's just where I am at the moment, & that I to do those small stupid things that maybe others in this same or worse position also find annoying..am I making sense? Dunno. I know what I mean.

She sent me a text last night saying it all went well yesterday, that she was really tired & was going to go to bed when she got home & can I ring our Dad? Yep no problems at all. I told her that I will & that I am proud of her, that she's a little warrior ♥. We'll catch up soon on the phone & when she's feeling up to it I will go see her & take some fresh fruits & vegetables.

Ummm what else..not much. I am keeping extra busy because for me that is best, I am also laughing a lot and trying to keep a positive outlook on things.

Dad said to me last night he thinks it could be in her whole body, the pain she's having in her lower back. She's in a lot of pain. She can't sleep on her left side or her right because it hurts. She can't sleep on her back because it hurts and her front, also hurts.

I can't imagine this & I feel so bad for her, there is nothing that anybody can do. I hope she can get some sort of pain relief. I did ask her about this on Tuesday night but she doesn't really want it. Pethidine I think she said made her feel high & she never liked the way it made her feel & I don't really remember but she might have said it didn't help the pain anyway??

I woke up at 4am this morning & couldn't get back to sleep but i did eventually. I think it's just that constant worry that is in the back of your mind & the thought of "was she sleeping? was she comfortable?" It's not nice to be in your own bed and be ok while she's off in hers fighting, struggling.